Do you remember those gorgeous, sizzling cabaret numbers by Helen in the films of the 1970s? Yes? And do you remember the 1972 Liza Minnelli classic titled ‘Cabaret’ for which the actress won an Oscar? Okay. Now erase the memories of Helen and Minnelli. Chances are, after seeing ‘Cabaret’, you would never want look at another cabaret number. This one drags you down to the dungeons of despair. Cabaret produced by Pooja Bhatt, that found its way on the streaming platform Zee5, is beyond critique. This movie is about a cabaret dancer and an alcoholic journalist and a dark past. Too many things all at once, starting with a journey of two pain strikes souls that turns into a lustful love story and before you can digest any of it it becomes a mystery thriller. It’s too early to call it the worst film of 2019, so I’m going to say it is one of the worst Hindi movies of the decade. That takes a lot of doing, but trust me Cabaret is a movie that literally forgets the meaning of its own title. In Cabaret, Razia Chadha plays a famous dancer named Rosa, who tries hard to escape her past when she isn’t busy asserting her overcooked vulnerability on the drunken journalist. For the first 30 minutes, she thinks she is a slurring Kangana Ranaut character from her pre-Queen days. I think the intention of this film is to make the viewers think that a dancer with links to the underworld is a story that resurrects a depressed journalist from his grave. This journalist for one isn’t very good at his job, given that he not only falls in love with his subject but also begins his interview with questions that range from “Do you like the night?” ” to “Do you believe in God?”. Her answer: Yes, because I believe in love after which they literally proceed to chew on each other’s lips (I think its supposed to depict undying lust in a dead film).