Japani Doll review: Nothing about this series makes sense

Japani Doll review: Nothing about this series makes sense
Movie Rated

Japani Doll, the title has a story behind it too. The word Japani has a double meaning in Bengali. On an innocent level, it means a person hailing from Japan but the sexual innuendo refers to a penis ( one which is large). This is mainly because in Bengali channels we watch an ad about ‘Japani Tel’, an oil product which uses a snake as a reference for penis. The ‘Japani Tel’, which is an oil product is used to massage the penis to make it grow. But had I not been an avid television viewer I wouldn’t have understood the fun in the title.

The script seems to be directed by a five-year-old, who cannot distinguish between a Japanese man, a Chinese man and a man from Pakistan. The jokes are full of mistakes mainly because they make no sense. Terms like ‘surgical strike’ and speeches of Prime Minister Narendra Modi are used in a wrong manner.

I wonder if the writers of this series have studied basic geography, or even cared to read the newspaper because they seem to get it all wrong. So rather than a review, I feel like compiling a list of everything that went wrong and I hope the writers take a good look at this list because the entire series look immature.

  1. Japan and China are two different countries.
  2. It’s plain and simple racist when you can’t distinguish between Japanese and Chinese
  3. You cannot drag a man to court for doing business with the Japanese or Chinese companies.
  4. You cannot guess and issue arrest warrants (that never happens)
  5. It is okay if a judge is gay, there’s no need to make fun of his sexuality. (It’s 2019 for god sake)
  6. For god sake! Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose went to Japan for political reasons, to attain freedom for India.
  7. There’s a big difference between Bose’s motive to attain freedom for India, and your protagonist’s motive to import sex dolls in Kolkata. Please don’t mix the two.
  8. Please learn Japanese before you add their language in your script.
  9. Having sex with sex dolls will not decrease population. Ever heard of sperm donation?
  10. Arresting a man on his wedding day is not equal to Narendra Modi’s surgical strike.
  11. I understand that everyone in your team has a fondness for Bollywood, but till date, I haven’t heard of a single police officer who sits of a rocking horse chair while vengefully announcing news of his enemy’s arrest.
  12. Samba was not sitting on a rocking horse chair in Sholay. He was on a real horse.
  13. Policemen don’t carry wooden horse chairs when they enter to arrest someone.
  14. A judge may be passionate about photography but I don’t think they are allowed to get up from their designated chair in the middle of a court session to click photos.
  15. No, I haven’t seen a single judge who sits with a DSLR around his neck during a court session.
  16. The usage of the word ‘FUCK’ is not funny if you cannot use it in the right way, in the right term.
  17. I believe the purpose of a sex doll is just meaningless sex, so no one cares if a sex doll can sing.
  18. No one purchases a sex doll to hear it rap. They buy CDs, records.

India has a population of 1.37 billion. So why can’t we have one good sex comedy?

Rating: 1/5 (Watch Japani Doll on Hoichoi here)

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